


The Illustrious Dating History of Michael Mell

by FredAndGinger



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cannon compliant, F/F, F/M, M/M, because (spoiler) JD doesnt make it, but like a good one, but the dear evan hansen kids are ok, crossover fic, dating fic, i swear this is good, please guys it's finals and i wasted my time on this, so please be wary of the heathers part?, validate me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 11:46:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14424732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FredAndGinger/pseuds/FredAndGinger
Summary: Or, "Five Times Michael Dated the Wrong Guy and the One Time he Dated the Right One"“I don’t want this to change anything.” Michael said, looking down at the sheets in his hands again. “That’s why… that’s why I never said anything. I’m emotionally compromised.”





	The Illustrious Dating History of Michael Mell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SpinalBaby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpinalBaby/gifts).



1\. Connor Murphy 

Michael’s first boyfriend, Connor, was probably the perfect Training Wheels Boyfriend. It started the first month of Michael’s Sophomore year (Connor’s Junior) and it was just when Michael had decided that he was doomed to be gay and alone forever. It ended about two months later with a mutual decision. Nothing messy. Well, mostly…

… 

“God, I just… All he sees is my sister, you know?” Connor sighed, leaning on Michael’s shoulder. Michael took his hit from the joint and nodded sagely. It was their favorite bonding activity, complaining about their best friends. 

“Yeah,” he agreed, watching the smoke pour out of his mouth, “Jeremy was talking about Christine’s _hair_ for like an _hour_ , but he never _does_ anything about it, and--” 

“Hey,” Connor said, cutting him off. It was good, Michael wasn’t sure where he was going with his statement, “You wanna shotgun?” 

“Fuck yeah.” Michael agreed, grinning. It was their second favorite pastime, since it usually devolved into a makeout session. 

Connor took his hit and, never breaking eye contact, leaned in to press his lips against Michael’s. Michael breathed in against him, pulling away when it was too much. The first time Connor did that with him he’d coughed into his mouth. He was getting better at this. 

Michael slowly exhaled and let the new wave of High wash over him. It was then that he had a Moment of Clarity. He knew that if he voiced it, it would end his relationship, but his mouth didn’t get that memo. 

“Hey, you love Evan, don’t you?” Michael asked, mouth moving of its own volition. He clapped a hand over his mouth dramatically, as if he’d accused his boyfriend of murder. Connor’s eyebrows shot up. 

“I- Well- You’re in love with Jeremy!” Connor stuttered, his voice turning accusing. Michael gasped. 

“No! I’m not, we’re just best friends!” He protested, crossing his arms. Connor stubbed out the joint. 

“No dude, you’re in love with him. We’re… shit man, we’re in love with our best friends.” Connor said. There was a beat of silence. 

“We…. we do talk about them a lot.” Michael admitted, a small smile forming on his face when Connor laughed. 

“Oh man, that’s all we do! God, we’re not even dating, are we?” He asked, leaning on Michael’s shoulder again. Michael patted him comfortingly on the back. 

“‘Fraid not. It’s all been a sham.” Michael said, “We should break up, shouldn’t we?” 

“Yeah, probably.” Connor admitted. Michael nodded, more to himself than anything since Connor was still on his shoulder. 

“We can still get high together though, right?” Michael asked, “I don’t really have that many friends.” 

“Hard same,” Connor said, his voice muffled in Michael’s hoodie, “Yeah man. Friends sounds good.” 

… 

Michael was sitting in the lunchroom. Jeremy had been ignoring him all week and Connor, his ex-boyfriend-turned-kind-of-school friend, was nowhere to be found. He frowned into his sushi and looked out across the cafeteria. Jeremy was sitting with the popular kids. Michael sighed. 

Michael’s eyes widened as he saw Connor, sitting next to Evan in the lunchroom. That was a new development, he thought that they sat separately. Michael was about to make his move over there, to try and latch onto any socialization he could get, when he saw Connor laugh and press a quick kiss to Evan’s cheek. 

Michael’s face broke into a grin, “The fucker did it. He finally fucking did it.” 

He was about to head over anyways, unashamed to ruin any mood, when the two of them got up and walked out, hand in hand and unnoticed by everyone but Michael. His chance was gone, he’d just have to go the rest of the day without talking to anyone. 

Michael’s grin fell a little, but he was still happy for his friend. He looked back at their table, where there was a dorky looking kid with glasses sitting alone. Their eyes met and they exchanged an awkward half-wave of acknowledgement. 

_He’s Evan’s friend, right?_ Michael thought, turning back to his sushi, _Kinda cute._

… 

2\. Rich Goranski 

Michael’s second and most short-lived boyfriend was Rich. Rich had just come out of the closet in his spectacular fashion, by dropping it in any conversation with any person at any time. It was weird, sitting with the popular kids--Jeremy included--and Michael was overwhelmed when he sat down about a month into this new friendship and Rich, in front of everyone, asked him out…

… 

“You- you’re joking, right?” Michael asked, frowning. Jeremy had a look on his face, something between amusement and intense concern. It was weird and Michael wished he would stop. 

“Why do you think I’m joking?” Rich asked, crossing his arms, “You’re cute, you’re the only openly gay kid in the grade, and we’re friends. We should go out.” 

“Dude, you’ve mocked me for being the only gay kid for two years.” Michael protested. Rich swung an arm around his shoulders. 

“Babe, that was the old me, the Squipped me! I’m a brand new Richard Goranski and I need the grade’s _best_ arm candy to introduce me to the world!” Rich said grandly, “And if it doesn’t work out, we’ll have a fun story after!” 

Whoever said flattery wouldn’t get them anywhere was _lying_ because having the second most popular guy in the grade calling him “the grade’s best arm candy” had shorted out just about every reasonable reaction in Michael’s brain so that he merely nodded. 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

“Oh com-- Really? You’re agreeing?” Rich asked, looking surprised. He probably expected Michael would need more convincing. 

“Yeah man, it’ll be… an experience.” 

“You bet your ass it will, baby.” Rich said, grinning even wider and crushing Michael into a hug. Michael looked over Rich’s shoulder to see Jeremy quietly losing his shit into Christine’s shoulder, trying to muffle his laughter. Michael flipped him off. 

… 

It didn’t end badly, per say, it was just weird. As friends Rich and Michael could talk, but they both seemed a little unsure of themselves alone together, where they couldn’t just jokingly insult each other, and besides… 

“You’re looking good, loser.” Rich said when Michael pulled up. It was the middle of the night, about two weeks after they’d started going out. Rich had called him, his voice frantic over the phone, and Michael had dropped everything to go get him, because that’s what boyfriends were supposed to do. 

“You look like hell,” Michael said, unable to give a compliment to someone who had a busted lip and black eye, “What the fuck happened to you?” 

“Just… drive away fast, okay?” Rich said, looking back at the house with something akin to fear in his eyes, “But don’t make too much noise.” 

Michael obeyed, driving away from the house. When they’d gotten a safe distance away, he turned the radio back on and let it play quietly. He glanced at Rich out of the corner of his eye. The dude looked rough. 

“Rich, what’s going on?” Michael asked, one hand leaving the steering wheel and lighting on Rich’s hand. Rich clutched at his fingers, like the human contact was a lifeline. 

“My, uh. My brother’s out of town and he normally keeps my old man in line. I guess I should have crashed at Jake’s-- I mean I should have crashed at your place, but…” Rich trailed off, focusing on their joined hands rather than Michael’s face. 

“Rich, that’s- you’ve got to tell someone!” Michael said, letting his concern color his voice. Rich frowned. 

“I’m telling you, aren’t I?” He asked, his tone too calm. It put Michael on edge.

“I’m not good enough! You have to tell, like, an actual adult! Someone who can do something!” 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m almost eighteen. I just have to wait a year and I’ll be out of here.” 

“Rich, he could kill you!” 

“Don’t you think I know that?” Rich yelled, abandoning his calm tone, ripping his hand from Michael’s. “It’s too late though! I’m seventeen, no one cares about fucked up seventeen-year-olds!” 

There was a moment of silence. Michael pulled over. He took Rich’s hand once more. 

“I care,” he said, as he laced their fingers together, “I might not be in love with you and this whole dating thing might be kind of a joke, but I care about you, Rich. All of us do. And you can come over any time you need to. Hell, you could probably just live with Jake if you wanted, god knows that kid needs some company.”

“I just- I really fucked up, you know? With the Squip and everything. And this, this stuff with my dad… it kind of feels like a punishment for it, you know? Justice. The Squip used to- I don’t know- keep me safe? I never got caught be him when I had the Squip and now--” 

“Hey, hey. Now you’re sounding like Jeremy.” Michael said, rubbing circles into Rich’s hand, “You were an idiot Freshman who wanted to be cool. No one can fault you for that. And you did some pretty shitty stuff, but you’re making up for it now. Hell, you’re _dating_ me, and two months ago you probably would have beaten me up for even suggesting it. You’re making a lot of progress.” 

“Huh, I am pretty different now, aren’t I?” Rich asked, sniffling a little as if he was trying to hold back tears, “Yeah. I-I could have avoided the fight tonight, but my dad was calling me a pansy and saying I was gay like it was a _bad_ thing and I just… I just kinda exploded on him.” 

“You didn’t come out to him, did you?” Michael asked, shocked, “I mean, that’s your business, but if I were you, I-” 

“Nah. I just told him one of my best friends was gay, and that he was one of the bravest people I knew.” 

“Jake’s gay?” 

“No, dumbass, I was talking about you.” Rich said, bumping into him with his shoulder. Michael laughed a little, more out of shock than anything, “You saved all our asses at that play. I’d kick anyone’s ass who called you a pansy after that.” 

“Thanks babe.” Michael said, still a little shocked, “I’d say the offer goes both ways, but I’ve never been good in a fight.” 

Michael drove the car back onto the road, driving them back to his house. He parked the car and Rich leaned over, kissing him hard on the lips. It tasted like blood and seemed to go on forever. Michael wished it would stop so that they could go inside and sleep. 

Rich drew back and looked at him appraisingly. 

“Mikey boy,” he said finally, “I think we should break up.” 

“Oh thank god,” Michael sighed, “I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant.” 

… 

Things went smoothly after the breakup. Rich bounced around everyone’s houses for a bit, before settling down at Jake’s house, to stay. 

“It just makes sense,” Michael heard Jake telling Jeremy, “I mean, he helped me pick out all the new furniture and move in. It was almost like he lived there anyways.” 

“You just want someone to play your sports with you.” Jeremy teased, and wow, when did Jeremy start teasing anyone, “You’ve been sitting there, looking longingly at your basketball hoop.” 

“You sound like Michael.” Jake accused, and Michael had never been more proud. 

… 

3\. Jared Kleinman 

Jared Kleinman was actually Michael’s longest-lasting boyfriend for a while there. It was weird, Jared asked him out as a half-joking “why aren’t we dating already?” and Michael had replied “are you asking?” and after that they lasted about half a year--the better part of their junior year, through the summer. 

All of Michael’s friends liked Jared and all of Jared’s friends loved Michael, even though Jeremy and Connor were both being a little weird about the whole thing. It was probably just weird, Jared and Michael were strikingly similar (though Jared was a much bigger asshole and he admitted it). 

His and Jared’s breakup was by far the messiest though… 

… 

“What’s up, Gamestop?” Jared asked over the phone. 

Michael bit his lip. He highkey loved this dude, even if he was still lowkey obsessed with Jeremy. But right now he had an issue, and that issue was that he was about to have a panic attack. 

The power was out at his house. That wouldn’t be an issue, if not for the fact that he had been watching a horror movie and smoking a joint. Now the pot was just boosting his paranoia. 

“Hey, can you come over?” 

“Sure man, what’s wrong? You too high to walk up the stairs again?” 

“That happened one time!” Michael laughed, eyeing the corner of his room suspiciously, “Nah, the power’s out and it’s creepy here.”

“Parents are out?” 

Michael nodded. 

“Are you nodding, dumbass?” 

Michael laughed, “Yeah.” 

“I’ll be right there,” Jared said. Michael could hear noise on the other side of the phone, a quiet “Move it, Hot Topic.” 

“You’re hanging with Connor? Tell him I say hi!” Michael said. There was more shuffling and he heard Connor’s voice in his ear. 

“Hey Michael.” 

“Hey Connor, you need to check your phone, like, once a week. It feels like you’re ignoring me.” Michael said, picking at a hole in his jeans, “Why’re you hanging with Jared, anyways? I thought you guys hated each other.” 

“We, uh. We don’t hate each other anymore, Michael. Listen man, I think we need to talk soon--”

“Aaand I’m back!” Jared said, cutting off whatever Connor was going to say, “I’ll be right over, babe.” 

“What--” Michael began, but Jared hung up on him. However, he didn’t hang up before he heard another voice that he could barely place in the background, another kid in Connor’s grade. Was that Evan? 

_I’m glad he’s got friends_. Michael thought, even though that interaction had altogether been weird. Jared had been weird for weeks now and Michael had been trying to help, but it wasn’t working out. Jared didn’t want to talk about whatever it was. 

Jared got there quickly and came down to the basement, where Michael was sitting in the light from the candles he’d hoarded to mask the smell of pot. 

“So,” Jared said, sitting across from him, “What do you want to do?” 

“I _want_ to play a video game, but that’s not gonna happen till they fix the power.” Michael said, leaning forward to rest his forehead on his boyfriend. Jared tensed beneath him. “I’d settle for making out with my cute boyfriend.” 

“We, uh. We can play a board game!” Jared said, moving back a little, “Board games are basically video games in real life, right?” 

“They’re not,” Michael said, frowning at him, “But sure.” 

Jared went over to Michael’s closet, where he kept the family games, and pulled out Life. Michael approved, it had simple rules and he wasn’t sure his mental capacity was ready for anything more complicated than that. 

They got started and it was quiet. This was odd. Jared usually never shut up. 

“I wonder why you can only have one significant other in this game.” Jared said when his piece landed on the marriage space, “What if I don’t want to get married? What if I want to date someone else? What if I want to explore my options?” 

“Dude, it’s a game about middle class white people. Just be happy that they can’t police what kind of person you put in your car.” Michael said, stuffing a blue “boy” piece into Jared’s car. Jared took it out. Michael looked up at him. “Dude, what’s your problem?” 

“I just… I don’t want my guy to get married, is all.” 

“But that’s the rules. You’re pretending to be a middle class white guy. Take your husband so you can get a stupid house and land on some baby squares.” 

“But what if I don’t want to be a normal, middle class white guy? Why can’t my dude live alone and adopt kids? Why can’t I have a sick bachelor pad and like three boyfriends?” 

“Jared, what the hell are you talking about?” Michael asked, “This is a children’s game.” 

“I… I made out with Connor.” Jared blurted out. 

Michael stared, opening his mouth for words that weren’t coming. He shut his mouth.

“And, uh, and Evan.” 

There was a long moment of silence. 

“W-when?” Michael asked. His hand was still hovering over Jared’s plastic car. 

“Today. Uh. Or yesterday. It’s pretty late.” 

Michael nodded. It was pretty late. 

“Uh, why?” Michael asked. 

“I, um. I was pretty drunk earlier. And we all talked about a lot of stuff and… it just kind of happened.” 

“Oh.” Michael said, “So, it’s just because you were drunk, right? It didn’t… it didn’t mean anything, did it?” 

Jared shook his head. 

“It… it meant a lot, Michael. I, um. We talked and I really want to be with them.” 

“Wh- I… I thought you loved me.” Michael said. He could feel tears forming in his eyes and he could hardly hold them back, “We- we’re going to prom.”

It was true, Jared had already asked him to come to the Senior prom with him (Michael, a Junior, had made a huge deal about it to their friends). It was stupid though, he must have sounded like such a bitchy girl (though he could never let Chloe know he thought that).

“I still love you! I, uh… I want to be with all of you!” Jared admitted, “I want to date you and Evan and Connor. All of you.” 

Michael shook his head. No. He was fine with polyamory, don’t get him wrong, but he wasn’t about to be involved in all that. That was too many people, too complicated. Too many feelings. 

“No, man. You- you can’t just drop that on me and expect me to be okay with it.” He said, his voice raw, “You- you fucking cheated on me. I _never_ \--”

“But you love Jeremy! Connor told me all about that. He, uh… he said that you broke up because of it. But now you can date him and me! It’ll be the best of both worlds, you can have him, and I can have them, and we can have each other, and…” 

“I don’t want that! I wanted _you_ , I didn’t _care_ about Jeremy or my stupid crush, I wanted _you_ and now you’re being _selfish_ \--”

“I thought you loved me, Michael.” Jared, the asshole, said. “I thought you’d- you’d try to work this out with me. I’m _sorry_ that I got with Evan and Connor this way, but if you could just _see_ \--”

“No, Jared. That’s not how this is gonna work. I… you need to leave, okay? I just need… I need some time.” Michael said. Jared got up. At the base of the stairs he paused. 

“Are you… are you breaking up with me?” Jared asked. Michael paused. 

“Yeah,” he said at length, “I think I am.” 

“Okay.” Jared said, sucking in a shaky breath, “Yeah. I deserve that. See you later, Mikey.” 

“Don't-” Michael said, but it was too late, Jared was up the stairs, “Don’t call me that.” 

He heard the front door slam, and he let loose the tears he’d been holding back. He was sobbing, huge, gut-wrenching sobs. It’s not like anyone was around to hear them. 

Once he’d gotten past the hyperventilation stage, he picked up the phone and called Jeremy. 

He had to call three times before he picked up. He knew it was one in the morning and he was being needy, but he _needed_ his best friend. 

“Wha?” Jeremy said, the noise barely a word. A sob escaped Michael’s lips. He was just so happy that someone answered. “Michael?” 

“I, uh… I just broke up with Jared and the power’s out and I’m still high as balls and I’m fucking crying and I just really need--”

“Woah, woah, slow down man.” Jeremy said, and Michael could hear movement on the other side of the phone, “What’s going on?” 

“I need you to come over, Jere.” Michael said, his voice weak and pathetic even to his own ears, “I just- I just broke up with Jared and I need you to come over.” 

“What? Why? What’d he do?” Jeremy asked, and Michael could hear him tripping over something and the faint jingle of keys. He must be borrowing his dad’s car. Mr. Heere was going to kill him. 

“I- I’ll explain when you get here, okay? I just… I need someone here, okay?” Michael stuttered, not trusting his voice to hold out over the phone. Hearing his best friend’s understanding tone was too much, it was pushing him over the edge into Crying Land. 

“Okay,” Jeremy said, understanding tone still in place (the bastard), “I’ll be right over.” 

He hung up.

“Okay.” Michael said to the dial tone.

… 

That night (morning?) Michael cried on Jeremy for hours. He was a wreck for the next two days (and he could be, since it was a weekend and all), and when the school week rolled around his friends were overwhelmingly supportive of him. 

Though his friends had his back, Michael was still eternally sad about the whole thing. He’d been in love with that asshole. Why would Jared do that without talking to him first? Without giving any indication whatsoever that he’d do something like that? Why didn’t Connor stop him?

Michael didn’t talk to either of them (or Evan, though he never really talked to him in the first place) for a whole month. Connor and Jared both tried to reach out to him, but he resolutely ignored them. 

It wasn’t until one day, when Evan cornered him in the bathroom, that he finally decided to talk his shit out. 

… 

“H-hey, Michael.” Evan said, standing in front of the door out of the bathroom, effectively blocking the door, though Michael knew he could just shove past him if he needed to. (He wanted to, but he thought that might be bad manners. He was trying to be the one taking the high road in this breakup, after all). 

Michael glanced around. It was the middle of third period, so there was no one else there. Evan must have just happened to walk in while he was peeing. Great. 

“Hi.” Michael said, moving to walk around him. Evan shuffled a little, blocking his path. “Uh, excuse me?” 

“Uhm, Michael, I, uh. I think I need to talk to you.” Evan said, his words coming out in a rush at the end. 

“Why?” Michael asked, “We were never friends before all this.” 

Evan frowned, like maybe _he_ had considered them friends or something, but moved on. “I, uh. My boyfriends- they’ve been trying to talk to you.” 

“I know man, I blocked them.” Michael said, trying not to show the way it hurt to hear him say _boyfriends_. 

“I just. You-you really hurt… Connor. J-Jared I understand. He’s, uh. He’s kind of an asshole, um. Sometimes.” Evan said. Michael snorted. 

“Yeah. Yeah, he really is.” He said, unable to keep a mild fondness from his voice. Evan’s lips twitched like he wasn’t sure if he should smile or not.

_God, he’s worse than Jeremy. What do those guys see in him?_ Michael thought, before taking it back. _That was mean. Jeremy was pretty bad before he ate a supercomputer. I’m just mad._

“B-but… Connor, he, um. He and I both… we both thought you’d be, uh, okay with this? And it’s okay that you’re not! But… we never would have… we kind of convinced J-Jared to make out with us that n-night and… We’re really sorry, but please don’t be mad at him?” Evan said, his sentences quirking up like questions. 

The dude was so defenseless. It was hard to be mad at him. _He really is a lot like Jeremy_.

“There’s three of you, and _none_ of you thought to talk to me?” Michael asked, crossing his arms. Evan shrank back a little. Michael sighed, “Fine, I’ll talk to them. I’m not even that mad anymore.” 

It was a lie, but it was also true. It’d been a month, so he was getting over it, but the residual hurt and the lack of communication stung. 

“Y-you will?” Evan asked, perking up, “D-do you think you’d ever… take Jared back?” 

Michael laughed, maybe a shade too bitter. “Ha, no. That jackass is all yours, I’m afraid. I’ll unblock them though, tell them they can text me or whatever.” 

“Thanks Michael,” Evan said, moving to allow him to pass, “Have, uh, have fun in class.”

“Back at you.” Michael said, and walked out. 

… 

Things went well after that, all things considered. It took the rest of the school year for them all to be friends again, but with the looming threat of college taking them away, Michael found it in himself to forgive his friends. 

4\. Jake Dillinger

The week leading up to prom was awful for Michael. He’d already paid for his ticket before Jared had pulled that shit on him and, though they were talking again, he wasn’t too happy about losing $70 for a ticket to his school’s gym. 

He’d been sulking to his friends the whole week about how he had to work extra hours at his shitty retail job just to tear up a ticket. (It was a lie, he’d given the ticket to someone who knew someone for about $20, but that was still a $50 loss so he was still bitter, okay?) His friends seemed to accept his anger and move on, not trying to provoke another bout of animosity between him and their upperclassmen friends (especially not after they’d finally talked their shit out), but that wasn’t exactly cathartic to Michael. 

Prom night found Michael sitting on his bed, frowning as he scrolled through his newsfeed and obsessively watched the Snapchat stories of his Senior friends. They were having so much fun and his _asshole_ ex-boyfriend was looking so _cute_ in that _stupid_ rental tux and--

Michael shot up when he heard the doorbell ring. Was that Jeremy come to rescue him from his sadness? Had the boy abandoned Christine and their date to the Cheesecake Factory to comfort his best friend? Was salvation his? 

“Hey Mike!” Jake Dillinger, dressed in a button up with the sleeves rolled up and black dress pants. It was more formal that Michael had seen him in most of their collective schooling experience, he could hardly remember a time that the kid wasn’t in basketball shorts or jeans. 

Jake was also one of the only people Michael allowed to called him “Mike”. It was a dumb nickname, but from Jake it sounded cool. 

“Oh, hey Dillinger. What’s going on?” Michael asked, trying to hide his disappointment and confusion. 

“Well, you sounded so bummed about missing prom that I thought maybe I’d, you know… take you out.” Jake said. 

There was a lot to unpack there. First: Michael was not _bummed_ , he was _bitter_. Second: why did Jake sound so… shy? Was this a--? Third: Was this a--?

“Are you asking me on a date?” Michael asked.

“I’m trying to.” Jake said, nodding. 

“Oh.” 

There was a moment of silence. 

“Where are we going?” Michael asked, eyeing the outfit. 

“Oh man,” Jake said, grinning, “I have this whole thing planned out. I’m taking you to a nice restaurant, and a record store, and then a walk along the river.” 

Michael laughed. It sounded corny but, when he looked back at the most popular guy at school, eager to take _him_ on a date, well… it got to him a little.

“So should I change?” 

“Never change, Mike. You’re a real one.” 

… 

The night went as well as could be expected. Dinner was quiet and slightly awkward until they got into the rhythm of things. Michael mercilessly mocked Jake’s music taste up and down the record store until they both realized that neither of them actually owned a record player (though Michael did buy a cassette or two for the casual collection he had). The walk by the small stream nearby (lovingly referred to everyone as The River, for reasons that Michael wasn’t sure about) was nice, calm and quiet. The darkness made their silence comfortable. 

“What’re you listening to?” Jake asked, breaking said silence. Michael had one earbud in, and offered the other to Jake. 

“I, uh… I got into a Postmodern Jukebox phase,” Michael said, “They’re this band that does jazz covers of modern songs and…” He trailed off, letting the music flow instead of inflicting one of his music rants on Jake. It was nice. They kept walking. 

“You having fun?” Jake asked after a while. Michael wondered how long they’d walked and if Jake might be a serial killer, guiding him away from civilization. 

“Yeah, this is a lot more fun than moping in my room.” Michael said, “Thanks man. I, uh… I really needed this. I just… I was just stalking Jared’s social media and trying to not be bitter, but… I kinda loved him, you know?” 

Jake nodded, “It’s hard to love someone, and know that they love you, but… not be able to be with them.” 

“Chloe?” Michael asked. Jake sighed. 

“I knew we were never gonna work out, but she’s such a bitch sometimes--” Jake cut himself off, frowning, “Wait, Christine told me not to say bitch. She’s indicative!” 

Michael paused. “Vindictive?” 

“That too!” 

Michael snorted. “Yeah man.” 

“And… I don’t want her anymore but it still sucks when she’s throwing other boys under my nose.” 

“And girls.” Michael added. 

“And girls.” Jake nodded, before stopping in his tracks, “And girls?”

“Yeah, haven’t you seen her and Brooke?” Michael asked. God, he didn’t want to be the one to break that to him. 

“Oh. That’s great!” Jake said, surprising Michael, “That means she’ll be okay.” 

“What?” 

“She wouldn’t fuck up her friendship with Brooke if it wasn’t real.” Jake said, as if he’d put a lot of thought into the topic, “If they’re together then they’re together for good.” 

Michael thought about himself and Jeremy. He’d never ask him out if Jeremy wasn’t one hundred percent all in. Jake had a point. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Michael said. 

Comfortable silence reigned again. A breeze swept through the area and Michael shivered. Jake shrugged off his Middleborough Sanctioned Varsity Jacket and put it on Michael’s shoulders. As if he was a girl. He proceeded to take one of Michael’s hands. 

“You’re freezing!” Jake said, rubbing said hand, “Do you want to turn back?” 

Michael used his free hand to clutch the jacket tighter around him. He really was having fun. 

“If you’re not too cold, I’m not too cold.” 

“I’m cool, but I’m never cold, Mike.”

… 

Jake was still shivering by the time they pulled up to Michael’s house. He still insisted on walking Michael to the door, however. They paused when they got to his porch. 

“Do you, uh… want your coat back?” Michael asked, his voice quiet in the stillness of the late-night neighborhood. He felt as if his voice would echo for miles if he spoke up. 

“Nah, you keep it for the night.” Jake said, “It looks good on you, Mike.” 

Michael’s heart fluttered at that. He never thought he’d have feelings for _Jake_ , and he really didn’t, but the attention was… really, really nice.

“You know, at the end of the date I usually end up invited inside.” Jake said, grinning. 

“I’m not that kind of girl, Dillinger.” Michael said, but he took a step closer, “But after a date like that…” 

Jake’s eyes closed for a second longer than normal and Michael took his cue, leaning up to press his lips against Jake’s. Jake’s lips slipped against his, and suddenly there was a tongue in Michael’s mouth, but he wasn’t complaining, he was dragging Jake closer, pressing their lips harder, sucking on his friend’s tongue, pulling out every stop he’d ever had. 

The kiss turned from heated to slow, and Jake sucked on Michael’s bottom lip that he’d been biting moments before, as if in apology, and he drew back. Jake pressed a short kiss to Michael’s lips. Michael surged up again to take the last kiss, lingering but not moving for a moment before he drew back. 

Michael opened his eyes slowly to see a fond expression on Jake’s face. 

“After a kiss like that, I’d definitely get invited up.” 

“I… I kind of want to invite you up.” Michael confessed. 

“I kind of want to go up.” Jake said. 

“We shouldn’t.” Michael said. It was true, he didn’t want to date Jake and he was never really into anything casual. 

Jake leaned in and pecked Michael on the lips one last time. “You’re right. See you at school, Mike.” 

“Yeah,” Michael said, watching Jake walk back to his car. “I had fun.” 

Jake waved. That was that. 

… 

At school the next day, Michael wore Jake’s jacket over his hoodie. He wouldn’t see him until lunch and it really was warm. Besides, he thought Jake might appreciate it not being in his filthy locker or stuffed into his bag. 

It seemed to be magical though, having and effect on Rich, who both seemed to be “supportive” of the date and yet… oddly not okay with it. Michael wondered how far he could push it. 

“It was wonderful,” Michael said, playing it up, “and at the end, he kissed me and…” 

“And?” Rich asked, sounding impatient and upset. Michael wanted to grin like the Grinch from that old movie, but he had to rein it in. Jeremy wasn’t the only one who was good at acting. 

“It was the best kiss I’ve ever had.” Michael sighed, hugging the coat closer for the effect. Rich was eating it up. 

Jeremy sighed. Michael figured that he’d figured it out from the beginning but didn’t approve, because he’d been pissy all morning. He’d explain later, about how he put together the pieces about Jake’s crush on Rich last night. Then Jeremy would understand. 

“That’s dumb. I’m the best kiss you ever had, Mell.” Rich said, before getting up to go to the bathroom or sharpen his pencil or to just get away from Michael. He glanced at his best friend, who was pointedly not looking at him.

“Man,” Michael said low to Jeremy, “I know I’m laying it on thick so Rich figures it out, but… that kiss was really good.” 

“Wait… so you and Jake aren’t dating?” Jeremy asked. Michael frowned. All his intentions and horniness from the night before had dissipated in the morning and he knew he’d made the right call not inviting Jake up. Why would Jeremy think they were dating? 

“No man, what the fuck?” 

“You’re wearing his jacket!” 

Rich came back before Michael could explain that he was wearing the jacket _until lunch_. He must have just been sharpening his pencil. Michael glanced at it. It was mechanical, yet it looked like it had been through the sharpener. The boy really was hopeless. 

… 

At lunch, Michael returned the jacket to Jake and order seemed to be restored in the universe. But, the way that Jeremy’s eyes lingered on him for the rest of the week… maybe it changed something. 

5\. Jason Dean

Michael met JD at the 7/11 near his school. JD was going to this weird military-style private school just up the road, but he was either allowed out at lunchtime or he just… snuck out. Since he and Michael both seemed to be extra fond of the Slushie Machine, they started up conversation. They’d hang out at lunchtime every once in awhile (well, at JD’s lunchtime, it was Michael’s free period before lunch) and soon became friends. 

JD had appeared in the month before summer break and, since most of his friend group (save Jenna) were entering blooming relationships with each other, Michael found excuses to go to the 7/11 often throughout the summer. JD seemed to be ever present. 

It was only natural that, when walking home one day, JD pushed Michael into an alley and kissed him against a wall. They really felt like they were all the other had. 

“He’s creepy,” Brooke said when they all got together to go to the beach. JD had opted out, saying that he didn’t want to play around in the sun. 

“He looks like he showed up late to Columbine.” Jenna said, scrolling through his Instagram. 

“Is that a hickey?” Jeremy asked. Michael didn’t dignify any of them with an answer. He’d gone through every gay kid in a two-grade radius, and JD was the only one who had yet to leave him for one of his friends. It seemed like a good idea. 

… 

“This was an awful idea,” Michael whispered to JD as the teen snuck through his window. 

“My dad won’t even notice I’m gone,” JD said confidently, only about halfway inside the Mell residence at this point. 

“Yeah, but this window is tiny! I live in a basement, man.” 

“You’re the one who said I couldn’t use the door.” With that, JD fell on top of Michael. 

“Ow!” Michael said, holding his side where JD had landed. He seemed to have landed with his elbow and it hurt a lot. 

“Did I hit you?” JD asked, lifting his shirt. The spot was bright red. JD leaned down to kiss it. It was fine at first, soft and a little sweet, but then JD pressed harder to it. 

“Ow,” Michael hissed, “That hurts, man.”

JD didn’t listen, opting to open his mouth, sucking at Michael’s skin, trying to make a hickey. Michael sucked in a breath, from the pain and also because the sensation was going straight to his dick.

“Jason--” Michael said, wanting JD to stop, it hurt too much. JD pulled away and trailed kisses up to Michael’s neck, where the last round of hickies were just yellowing. “Mmm.”

Michael didn’t want to seem easy, but for as creepy and scary and intense as JD could be… he was _good_.

… 

“He had to move away, but he’s been sending me letters.” Michael said to his friends at the lunch table on the first day of school, “We’re officially broken up though, so you can all stop being so weird.” 

“The kid looked like a school shooting waiting to happen, Mike.” Jake said, “We were just concerned.” 

“Why is he writing letters?”

“Why doesn’t he just text you?” 

“What’s he writing in the letters?” Jeremy asked. 

“They’re actually emails, but he calls them letters. It’s mostly drawings of dicks.” Michael said. 

It wasn’t actually. JD was a pretty good writer, sounding almost poetic at times. Over the course of the letters, he found that he was one of the only friends JD had ever made and that he soon met a girl named Veronica. 

He admitted to Michael that he’d fallen for the girl and Michael encouraged him to go for it. The letters soon petered out to a stop over the next couple of months, as Michael should have expected. He did receive one last letter though, in the actual mail. 

“I think I might have loved you,” It read, “But not as much as I love her.” 

“Figures.” Michael said, half bitterly. There was no return address, so he couldn’t one-up his edginess and send him a bouquet of wilted flowers or anything. JD probably did that on purpose. 

… 

“Hey, didn’t you say that JD went to Westerburg now?” Jeremy asked from the living room of his house. Michael was making tea. He’d actually just finished his latest rant-session about the letter, which he’d received that day. 

“Yeah.” Michael called, closing the sugar jar with more force than necessary, “Why?” 

“Apparently like four kids commited suicide there and the last one blew himself up right by the front steps.” Jeremy called, “They haven’t released the names. Crazy, huh?” 

“What?” Michael said, wandering in. He was just in time to see JD’s father screaming at a cameraman in the background of the news cast that this was a crime scene and not to step all over his--

The news cut away. Jeremy looked far too casual to have understood what just happened. Michael’s hand was shaking so badly he thought he might drop the mug of tea he’d brought out. 

“Michael?” 

“That-that’s JD’s father.” Michael whispered. 

“Diane Sawyer is JD’s father?” 

“No, the-the guy on the screen. Yelling. That was…” 

Michael saw the metaphorical light bulb go off in Jeremy’s head, “The-the kid who blew himself up was-?”

Michael nodded. Suddenly the letter made a little more sense. He wanted to drop the tea but it felt a little too late for those kinds of dramatics. 

He set the tea down and sunk into the couch next to Jeremy. He kept his eyes glued to the screen, though it was at one of those medication commercials with smiling older women complaining about their bladder issues. 

“Oh my God.” Jeremy whispered. Michael nodded. 

…

Later that night, while Jeremy slept over (having called his father and spilled the few details they learned from the news broadcast) Michael cried on his shoulder. 

“Hey, he was a dick! He was mean to you and sent you all those letters about how he was in love with that girl--” 

“I think I loved him though,” Michael said into the fabric of Jeremy’s T-shirt, “Everyone coupled off and he was-he was all I had all summer and-- and I loved him!”

“He wasn’t all you had all summer!” Jeremy protested and, yeah, of _course_ he would focus on that when Michael’s ex-boyfriend just _blew himself up_. “You could have hung with any of us! And if you didn’t want to hang with us in relationships you could have hung out with Jenna!” 

“I didn’t want to hang out with _Jenna_!” Michael yelled, thankful that his parents were still out this late, “I wanted to be with _you_!” 

“Christine wouldn’t have minded--” Jeremy began, but Michael drew back from where he’d had his face glued to Jeremy’s shirt and dove in, crashing his lips against his best friend’s, his eyes screwed shut as tears leaked out. 

He pulled back after a moment. Jeremy sat in stunned silence. 

“I wanted to _be_ with _you_.” Michael repeated, the weight of his words ruined by him sniffling right after, “I’m sure Christine would have minded.” 

“Do you--you like me?” Jeremy whispered. Michael frowned. There was no use hiding it now. 

“Yeah,” he said, getting up and moving away from his best friend, pretending to busy himself with putting sheets on the couch in the basement, the one Jeremy was supposed to use (but never did). “But it’s whatever. It doesn’t matter, I can deal with it.”

Jeremy was still silent, so Michael turned to look at him. His expression was unreadable. 

“I don’t want this to change anything.” Michael said, looking down at the sheets in his hands again. “That’s why… that’s why I never said anything. I’m emotionally compromised.” 

Michael heard the bed squeak and he couldn’t bear to watch his best friend leave, so he didn’t look. He was surprised when he felt a hand on his arm, turning him to face Jeremy. 

Jeremy’s hand found his face and pulled him up into a slow, longing kiss. Their lips moved against each other like Michael had always dreamed, and he didn’t want to pull away, but--

“You can’t do this to Christine.” He said, wiping his mouth, trying to get the feeling off his lips. “You--you can’t hurt her like this. I’m sorry, I just--”

“Christine and I aren’t doing too great lately,” Jeremy said, “I think she just views me as a friend that she occasionally makes out with.” 

“Whatever.” Michael said, though his heart was fluttering just a little at the possibility, “Just--just break up with her first, okay? Then we can do… whatever it is that you want us to do.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Jeremy said, “Do you-- do you want me to sleep on the couch tonight?” 

_No_ “That’s probably for the best.” 

“Okay.” 

… 

In the months that followed, through all of the drama in Michael’s life, there was always a national background presence of the Westerburg Suicides. Veronica, JD’s girlfriend, released a tell-all book and a series of interviews about the story. It turned out that JD was a homicidal psychopath. (His friends were never going to let him live that down). 

Veronica actually reached out to him, asking him to let her publish the letters between the two of them. Michael initially refused, but eventually allowed her to see the one, physical letter from JD and to publish it. 

“He always was dramatic, huh?” She’d said, her voice fond over the Skype call. Michael let himself smile a little back. She got him, she was probably the only other person in the world who understood this part of him. 

“Yeah” he said, “Remember to send the letter back, I--”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “I miss him too.”

+1. Jeremy Heere 

Jeremy didn’t break up with Christine until two weeks after the Kissing Incident. For those two weeks, Michael kept his distance and didn’t talk about it, didn’t ask if they’d broken up, forced himself to be normal around their friends. 

“What’s your problem?” Jenna asked him one day during their mutual free period. He’d scheduled it to be before lunch in hopes that JD would be there, but alas, now he hung out with Jenna Rolan every day. 

Not that that was a bad thing. He liked Jenna and these past few weeks had made them better friends, but she’d never been the nicest to him. And he hated gossip circling about him. Granted, she rarely talked shit about her friends, but… still. They had a joking hatred for each other going, Jenna because she never knew anything about Michael’s life and Michael because he hated her prying, and that had sustained their friendship for the past year. 

“Nothing. What’s _your_ problem, Jenna?” Michael asked her. Well, he asked his arms, which his face was in on the table in the library. She sighed. 

“Mikey-boy--” 

“Don’t call me that.”

“You underestimate me. I care about you. I want to know what’s wrong.” 

“You’re just saying that because you want all my hot, hot gossip.” He muttered. 

“I mean, that’s true. But real talk--” 

Michael looked up, this was not in their routine.

“Everyone’s so caught up in each other that they’re not noticing a lot. What’s going on, man? You can talk to me and I won’t, like, tell the whole school.” 

Michael weighed his options. There wasn’t much to be done. He didn’t have much to lose. 

“You’ve got to promise me you won’t tell anyone. Not even our friends.” Michael said, looking up at her. 

“I promise.” 

“Pinky promise?” 

“Pinky promise.” 

“You know how JD blew himself up?” 

“Oh no. You’re pregnant with his child, aren’t you?” Jenna gasped. Michael was surprised into laughing. 

“No, no. That’s not it, it’s just… Jeremy was there when I heard the news and after, when we were talking and I was all emotional, I might have--I don’t know--kissed him.”

“You kissed Jeremy?” Jenna asked, taken aback. 

“And then he might have kissed me?” 

“Jeremy kissed you?” 

“Yeah.” Michael sighed, “And I told him that I didn’t want to be with him because he was still with Christine and he could just write off my emotions to her, but he implied that he wanted to be with me, but he hasn’t broken up with her yet and--” 

“Michael, I think they’re already broken up.” Jenna said, frowning. 

“What?” 

“Yeah, Christine told me she broke up with Jeremy a month ago.” 

“ _What_?” 

“I mean… It is Christine, so maybe she let him down easy?” 

“So easy he didn’t notice?” Michael asked, “Wait no, that does sound like her.” 

“Yeah, I mean. Otherwise it’d be pretty shitty for me to be dating her.” Jenna said with a shrug.

“You’re dating her?” Michael gasped, “What? Really? When?” 

“Two weeks ago. We thought we’d keep it under wraps so people wouldn’t get weird about us dating so soon, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag.” Jenna said with a laugh. 

“I guess we’re not in Singles Solidarity anymore.” Michael said, offering her a smile. 

“Singles Solidarity? Dude, you were dating new people every other month. You’ve dated every gay kid.” 

“Hey! There’s only five gay kids in the school that I could have dated and I only dated four of them.” 

“Is Evan the fifth? He was never available and you and I both know that.” Jenna said, smirking. It was a friendly smirk though, “You should talk to Jeremy.” 

“Yeah. You’re right, I should.” 

…

Michael saw Jeremy across the courtyard and started jogging towards him, waving his hands above his head. He didn’t know what he was going to say yet (how did you break it to your maybe-more-than-best-friend that his girlfriend had broken up with him a month ago?) and he skidded to a stop in front of the other boy. 

Jeremy looked more confused than anything. 

“So I broke up with Christine. She took it really well,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. Michael shook his head. 

“You dork.” 

Jeremy opened his mouth, as if to protest, but Michael grabbed the front of his cardigan and pulled him down for a kiss. Their lips slid against each other and Michael bit Jeremy’s lower lip gently, before Jeremy pulled himself away. 

“What?” Jeremy asked, holding him at an arm’s length. 

“Christine broke up with you last month, man. She’s dating Jenna.” Michael said, all thoughts of easing his lovable idiot into the news gone from his mind. He still had a firm hold on Jeremy’s cardigan and for once he wasn’t going to be the one to let go. 

“She- she what?” 

Michael pulled him closer, “So, do you want to go on a date this Friday?” 

“I… yes.” 

“Good,” Michael said, leaning up and kissing him one more time. He had to be sure to get enough in before the bell rang, “Today’s Friday.” 

“Oh, right.” 

“I think we should have a night in for our date.” 

“That’s an awesome idea.” 

“Video games? Snacks? Breaks for making out?” 

“Michael,” Jeremy sighed, leaning down and kissing him for once, “You complete me.” 

“I know,” Michael said, lacing their fingers together. He brought Jeremy’s hand to his lips and the bell rang, “See you after class.” 

“I’ll be waiting.”


End file.
